《柯南脫口秀》第35期:沒(méi)有合適的車(chē)

Did you ever have any nonacting job for you had success? 你有沒(méi)有過(guò)成功的非演戲工作

I did.I have had many nonacting jobs.and one of my favorites was delivering bananas for a fair trade company in New Zealand. 有過(guò) 我有過(guò)很多非演戲工作 我最喜歡的是為新西蘭的一家貿(mào)易公司送香蕉

And I told them that I wanted this job.I had everything it took. 我跟他們說(shuō)我想要這份工作 我有需要的一切條件

And they told me I needed a vehicle.and I said got that,sort of.I didn't.I had a scooter. 他們說(shuō)我需要一輛車(chē) 我說(shuō)我有 搞定了 我沒(méi)有 我只有摩托車(chē)

And so I rode around Wellington,which is one of the windiest cities in the country. 我在惠靈頓市里騎著車(chē) 這是新西蘭上最多風(fēng)的城市之一

On a scooter with of bananas on the back.And I got blown off twice,unfortunately. 騎著摩托車(chē) 后座有很多箱香蕉 不幸的是我被吹下來(lái)兩次

And so I had to go back to the boss and say look,I'm sorry,I kind of lied and I don't really have an appropriate vehicle. 我得去找老板說(shuō) 抱歉 我撒了謊 我沒(méi)有合適的車(chē)

So they said no problem.we also run an environmentally friendly business.And we have hearses available. 他們說(shuō) 沒(méi)問(wèn)題 我們也運(yùn)營(yíng)環(huán)保的殯儀業(yè)務(wù) 我們有退役的靈車(chē)

So I ended up delivering bananas all around Wellington in a retired hearse. 所以我最后 開(kāi)著退役的靈車(chē)滿惠靈頓跑送香蕉

That is,who wants to have a banana you just pulled out of a hearse? 誰(shuí)想要你 剛從靈車(chē)?yán)锬贸鰜?lái)的香蕉啊

Turns out it wasn't part of my opening big when I to the supermarket people. 我跟超市的人說(shuō)話時(shí) 并沒(méi)有開(kāi)張大吉

You know what I love when you're on the scooter and they're flying off,you picked the most easily fruit that there is. 我喜歡的是 你騎著摩托車(chē) 香蕉飛了 你選擇了最容易碰傷的水果

You can't sell a bruised banana.and it takes a year for a banana to grow. 你賣(mài)不掉碰傷的香蕉 香蕉要一年才能成熟

Did you know that?No,I never knew that. 你知道嗎 我不知道

A year? see,that's the only piece of information that's valuable that's come out of this show in over five years. 一年嗎 這是五年來(lái)這個(gè)節(jié)目里唯一有用的信息

Thank you,thank you.thank you. 謝謝你 謝謝你 謝謝你