You ask if you shall send me books. My dear friend, I beseech you, for the love of God, relieve me from such a yoke! I need no more to be guided, agitated, heated. My heart ferments sufficiently of itself. I want strains to lull me, and I find them to perfection in my Homer. Often do I strive to allay the burning fever of my blood; and you have never witnessed anything so unsteady, so uncertain, as my heart. But need I confess this to you, my dear friend, who have so often endured the anguish of witnessing my sudden transitions from sorrow to immoderate joy, and from sweet melancholy to violent passions? I treat my poor heart like a sick child, and gratify its every fancy. Do not mention this again: there are people who would censure me for it.
你問(wèn)需不需要寄書給我?——好朋友,我求你看在上帝分上,千萬(wàn)別再拿它們來(lái)煩擾我吧。我不愿意再被指導(dǎo),被鼓舞,被激勵(lì);我這顆心本身已夠不平靜的了。我需要的是催眠曲;而我的荷馬,就是一首很長(zhǎng)很長(zhǎng)的催眠曲。為了使自己沸騰的血液冷靜下來(lái),我常常輕輕哼這支曲子;要知道你還不曾見(jiàn)過(guò)任何東西,像我這顆心似的反復(fù)無(wú)常,變化莫測(cè)喲,我的愛(ài)友!關(guān)于這點(diǎn)我對(duì)你毋須解釋;你不是已無(wú)數(shù)次地見(jiàn)過(guò)我從憂郁一變而為喜悅,從感傷一變而為興奮,因而擔(dān)驚受怕過(guò)么?我自己也把我這顆心當(dāng)作一個(gè)生病的孩子,對(duì)他有求必應(yīng)。別把這話講出去,傳開了有人會(huì)罵我的。
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