生活大爆炸 第五季:第22集 單身派對(duì)帶來的麻煩(上)
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I wish you could all be inside my head.
真希望你們能來我腦子里
The conversation is sparkling.
里面的對(duì)話太精彩了
Fine, I'll tell you.
好吧，告訴你們
A lichen is an organism made up of two separate species, fungi and algae.
苔蘚是由兩種生物構(gòu)成的，菌類和藻類
If you could merge with another species, what species would you pick and why?
如果能與另一種生物結(jié)合，你們會(huì)選擇哪種生物? 為什么?
Hint: there is a right answer.
提示，有標(biāo)準(zhǔn)答案哦
None of you will get it.
但你們都猜不到
Okay, I'd pick swan because, uh, the resulting hybrid would have the advanced industrial civilization of a human
好吧，我選擇天鵝，雜交后能產(chǎn)生高等文明人類
and the long graceful neck I've always dreamed of having.
還有我一直夢(mèng)想的長(zhǎng)脖子
Wrong. Leonard?
錯(cuò)，萊納德?
Horse, but mostly just for the height.
馬，主要因?yàn)樯砀?/div>
A little bit for the genital girth.
還有生殖器粗度
Wrong, and let's keep it clean, shall we?
不對(duì)，不要說不正經(jīng)的，好嗎?
Kangaroo, uh, I'd be Kanga-Jew.
袋鼠，或者應(yīng)該說猶太袋鼠
The first of my people to dunk a basketball.
那樣我就是族里首個(gè)能灌籃的了
Also instead of just living in your mother's house, you could actually live inside her body.
那樣你能就住在你媽的袋子里，而不是房子里了
Clever, but also wrong.
聰明，但還是錯(cuò)了
No, the best organism for human beings to merge with is the lichen itself.
和人類雜交最好的生物就是苔蘚
That way, you'd be human, fungus, and algae.
那樣你就會(huì)擁有人類，菌類，藻類的...
Triple threat. Like three-bean salad.
三重優(yōu)點(diǎn)。就像三豆沙拉一樣
Give me one circumstance in which that would be useful.
舉個(gè)例子，有什么用
All right, picture this: a beautiful outdoor concert.
好吧，想象一下，美麗的戶外音樂會(huì)
Now, as a human, I appreciate Beethoven.
作為人類，我可以欣賞貝多芬
As a fungus, I have a terrific view, growing out of a towering maple tree.
作為菌類，我可以爬上高聳的楓樹，有個(gè)非常好的視角
And no thank you, expensive concessions. Because as an algae, I'll just snack on this sunlight.
還不用買昂貴的零食，因?yàn)樽鳛樵孱?，我只要吸收陽光就?/div>
He got us again. No, he didn't.
他又贏了，才怪
Anyway, if it's okay with you, we should talk about Howard's bachelor party.
你要是完了的話，我們?cè)撚懻撓禄羧A德的單身派對(duì)了
Seems like a bit of a letdown after our lichen conversation, but... What do you know, you're half swan.
討論完苔蘚后聊這個(gè)，有點(diǎn)掉層次吧，但...你知道什么，你是天鵝人
I've been doing some research on strippers.
我最近查了下脫衣舞娘
One agency I spoke to, said I could get us a great price if we're flexible on age range and number of limbs.
一個(gè)中介說，假如我們不在乎，年齡和缺手缺腳的話，能給我們個(gè)好價(jià)錢
Sounds like loads of fun, but I promised Bernadette no strippers.
應(yīng)該很有意思，但我答應(yīng)伯納黛特，不請(qǐng)脫衣舞娘了
You don't want strippers?
你不請(qǐng)脫衣舞娘?
You're the king of strippers. The one club in North Hollywood named a pole after you.
你是脫衣舞娘之王，北好萊塢的那脫衣舞店，用你的名字命名了根鋼管呢
What can I tell ya-I'm not into that stuff anymore.
怎么說呢，我不再喜歡那些東西了
Good for you, Howard. I'm proud of you.
很不錯(cuò)啊，霍華德，我為你驕傲
And still, you're the first one of use to get married. We have to do something special.
還有，你是我們第一個(gè)結(jié)婚的人，我們得搞點(diǎn)特別的
You know Germans have an interesting pre-wedding custom... Well, it's probably not for me.
德國(guó)人有個(gè)有趣的婚前習(xí)俗...應(yīng)該不適合我吧
Maybe we can go up to Napa Valley.
我們可以去納帕谷
They've got that wine train. Boo, wine! But yay, trains. I'm in.
那兒有葡萄酒火車之旅，惡心，酒，太棒了，火車，我去
Anyway, it's a beautiful time of year. Uh, you travel through the vineyards. There's a tasting on board. And all the wildflowers are in bloom. Magic.
總之，這季節(jié)剛好，乘火車穿過葡萄園，還可以在車上品酒，野花競(jìng)相盛開。太奇妙了
Look at that, in 30 seconds, we went from hiring women to being them.
瞧啊，三十秒，咱們從找女人變成當(dāng)女人了
So, I hear you and the lost boys are having a bachelor party tonight.
聽說你們失足青年今晚有單身派對(duì)
Yeah, just going to a restaurant, get some steaks, and scotch. Nothing to worry about.
是啊，就是去餐館，吃吃飯，喝喝酒，沒什么可擔(dān)心的
Why should I worry?
我能擔(dān)心什么?
Well, I don't know.It's a bachelor party. There could be strippers.
單身派對(duì)，可能有脫衣舞娘
Wouldn't that make you a little jealous?
你不嫉妒嗎?
Oh, come on Leonard, it's you.What's going to happen?
算了吧，萊納德，就你，能發(fā)生什么?
I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you'd do is avoid eye-contact and maybe offer to help her kid with his homework.
就算有脫衣舞娘，你也是躲著她，或者可能幫她孩子補(bǔ)習(xí)下功課
Hey, I am a young man in his sexual prime.
嘿，我是一個(gè)性致正旺的年輕人
Under the right conditions, I-I-I am capable of just, really crazy stuff.
某些情況下，我可是會(huì)很瘋狂的
Really? What is the craziest thing you've ever done with a woman?
真的? 你和女人做過，最瘋狂的事是什么?
And the time you and I had sex in the ocean does not count. Oh, come on.That's got to count.
在海里和我做愛那次不算，不要啦，算啦
There was a really strong undertow, we could have died.
那水下逆流差點(diǎn)搞死我們
Well, have fun tonight. Oh, I will.
好吧，今晚玩得開心。會(huì)的
There is no telling what might happen. Yeah, there is.
誰知道會(huì)發(fā)生什么。當(dāng)然知道
You know, there's nothing wrong helping some woman's kid get through their S.A.T.'s.
幫別人的孩子補(bǔ)習(xí)高考有啥錯(cuò)了
Hey, I got to hand it to Raj, He found a really nice spot to have a bachelor party.
嘿，多虧拉杰了，他找這地兒還不錯(cuò)
It's not bad. Unless you compare it to a train; then it stinks.
是不錯(cuò)，但要是和火車比，就爛多了
Are you drinking whiskey? Indeed.
你在喝威士忌?是啊
If I'm to participate in the social convention that is the stag night,
既然我來參加哥們的單身派對(duì)
then I must embrace all its components: including tobacco, swear words, and yes, alcohol.
就必須嘗試所有東西，包括香煙，粗話，還有酒
Jeepers! That's yucky.
哇塞（Jeepers70年代常用感嘆詞），好難喝
Whoa, it's a little early to start dropping J-bombs, don't you think?
現(xiàn)在用這詞是不是太早了?
Hey, you guys. Oh, hey, Wil. Nice of you to make it out tonight for Howard.
嘿，你們好。嘿，威爾，你能來真好
Well, it was either this or another hot tub party at George Takei's house.
不來這個(gè)就得去，喬治·竹井（星際迷航的演員）家的泡澡派對(duì)了
I'm confused. I thought since our reconciliation, I was your friend in this group.
我有點(diǎn)糊涂了，我以為自從我們和解后，我才是你的朋友
Oh, I'm friends with Howard too.
霍華德也是我朋友
Oh, I guess you're just friends with anybody.
哦，是個(gè)人都是你朋友吧
Hey, uh, Leonard... things are a little tight at the comic book store. I might need some help covering my share of the check.
嘿，萊納德，最近漫畫店生意不太好，能幫我墊下我那份嗎?
Oh, yeah, no worries.
當(dāng)然，沒問題
And maybe a few bucks for the valet.
還有給服務(wù)員的幾塊錢小費(fèi)
Oh, all right.And gas money to get home. Yeah, sure
好的，還有回家的油錢。好的，沒問題
You know what? This is my grandfather's watch.
這是我爺爺?shù)氖直?/div>
18-carat gold, got it in Europe during the war. Wow, that's very nice. 100 bucks and it's yours.
18克拉金，二戰(zhàn)時(shí)在歐洲淘的，真不錯(cuò)。100塊就是你的了
Hey, everybody! The bachelor boy has arrived!
嘿，伙計(jì)們！單身派對(duì)主角到啦!
For he's a jolly good fellow...
他是非常好的哥們（聚會(huì)常用歌曲） ...
Which nobody can deny, Yes, yes, yes. He's a jolly good fellow. What time do the strippers arrive?
大家都知道。是啊，是啊，是啊。他確實(shí)是個(gè)好哥們，脫衣舞娘啥時(shí)來?
Actually, Barry, we're not going to have strippers tonight.
巴里，其實(shí)今晚我們沒請(qǐng)脫衣舞娘
Ah, then what the frig did I get 200 dollars in singles out for?
那我?guī)У膬砂賶K零錢做啥?
You want to buy a watch?
你要買表嗎?
This is Maid of Honor Amy Farrah Fowler, bringing you the wedding activities just weeks out from the big day.
我是首席伴娘艾米·菲拉·福勒，正給你帶來婚禮一禮拜前的現(xiàn)場(chǎng)直播
Let's check in with a beautiful, radiant young woman, and her friend who's about to get married.
讓我們看看這位美麗動(dòng)人的年輕女子，以及她將要結(jié)婚的朋友
Ladies, can you tell us what you're doing?
女士們，能告訴我你們?cè)谧鍪裁磫?
Um, these are gift bags we're going to put in the hotel rooms of our out-of-town guests.
這些禮物袋是給，我們外地來的客人準(zhǔn)備的
This is a map of Pasadena.
帕薩迪納市的地圖
This is a list of local restaurants.
當(dāng)?shù)夭宛^列表
And then, for Howie's relatives, we have antihistamines, antacids, and medicine for diarrhea and constipation.
我們還為華仔的親戚準(zhǔn)備了，抗組胺劑，抗酸劑...以及腹瀉和便秘的藥
Yeah, we labeled them "stop and go.
我們標(biāo)上了"止"和"泄"
All right, pivoting to the big question: Bernadette,
好了，最大的問題，伯納黛特
on your wedding night you'll be consummating your marriage.
你的婚禮當(dāng)晚圓房
What do you think your first sexual position will be as husband and wife?
作為丈夫和妻子，你們會(huì)用什么姿勢(shì)做愛?
Amy, please. Keeping in mind that whoever's on top may set the tone for the marriage.
艾米，不要。謹(jǐn)記，誰在上位，誰婚后就是老大
Okay, show's over. Hey, they may conceive a child on their wedding night. Don't you think the kid might get a kick out of knowing how it happened?
好吧，不要玩了。嘿，他們可能在婚禮當(dāng)晚懷上孩子，你不認(rèn)為孩子有權(quán)知道，是怎么發(fā)生的嗎?
I don't care. Ask her things like "Are you going to take Howard's name? Not "Who's going to sit on who.
我才不關(guān)心。問她別的問題，像"你要跟霍華德姓嗎?"，而不是"誰在誰上面"
I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz. Nice.
我會(huì)連起來姓伯納黛特·瑪麗安·羅斯考斯基.沃洛維茨。不錯(cuò)
You know, you should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.com before someone snaps it up.
你應(yīng)該在別人搶注之前，趕緊去給這名字注冊(cè)個(gè)網(wǎng)站
Howard already took care of it.
霍華德已經(jīng)搞定了
Plus, he set up our beautiful wedding Web site with cute little facts about our family histories.
他還建了我們婚禮的網(wǎng)站，里面有我們的家族歷史
Do you know, for a while in Poland, my family and his family were neighbors.
在波蘭時(shí)，我家和他家就住隔壁呢
Oh, that's cool. No, it's not. I'll explain it to you later.
太酷了。不，一點(diǎn)都不酷，待會(huì)解釋給你聽
May I have your attention, please?
安靜，請(qǐng)注意了
We are hear tonight to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of my best friend Howard Wolowitz. Hear! Hear!
今晚我們慶祝我的摯友，霍華德·沃洛維茨即將到來的婚禮。干杯，干杯
And, apparently, Wil Wheaton's best friend.
顯然也是威爾·惠頓的摯友
Sheldon... Talk to the hand.
謝爾頓... 別煩我
Does anyone have any words they'd like to say about our man of the evening? I do.
哪位有話想對(duì)咱今夜的主角說嗎?我
As is the tradition, I have prepared a series of disrespectful jokes which generate humor at Howard's expense.
遵從傳統(tǒng)，我準(zhǔn)備了些，調(diào)侃霍華德的賤笑話
Prepare to have your ribs tickled...Howard
準(zhǔn)備好笑破肚皮吧...霍華德...
I always thought you'd be the last one of us to ever get married, because you are so short and unappealing. Am I right?
我一直以為我們之中，你是最后結(jié)婚的，因?yàn)槟憔褪莻€(gè)矮挫丑，對(duì)吧?
Let's see here. Oh, seriously though, Howard, you're actually one of the most intelligent people I know.
來這條，講真的了，霍華德，你是我認(rèn)識(shí)的人中最聰明的
And that's a zinger, because you're not.
騙你的，其實(shí)不是
I've always thought that you'd make someone a fine husband someday.
我一直以為有天你會(huì)成為，一位優(yōu)秀的丈夫
Assuming you'd be able to get the parts, and develop the engineering skills to assemble them, which I don't see as likely. Hacha!
但你先得弄到零件，再提高下工程技術(shù)，把老婆組裝起來，但我覺得不太可能，好笑吧
Okay... Let me see here. Okay, kidding aside-Howard, you are a good friend.
好，我看看，好，不開玩笑了，霍華德，你是個(gè)好朋友
And I wish you nothing but happiness.
我希望你能幸?？鞓?/div>
Bazinga, I don't!
逗你玩，并沒有
Sheldon... Doubleazinga! I do! Sheldon
還是逗你玩，我有
Good luck following that.
還好跟了這句
So, Howard Wolowitz tying the knot.
霍華德·沃洛維茨要婚啦
Leaving his crazy bachelor days behind. He was a wild one.
他那瘋狂的單身日子已成過去，他原來可瘋了
Well, I guess we all kind of were.
我們應(yīng)該都是吧
I remember this one time, I was with this girl at the beach.
我記得有一次，我跟一妹子去沙灘
We were in the ocean and we started making out.
我們下到海里，開始親熱
I know, it was crazy.
我知道，超瘋的
I wasn't even wearing my Aquasocks.
我都沒穿防水鞋
Then... Nobody cares, Hofstadter. Wrap it up. Right.
然后...沒人想聽，霍夫斯塔特，趕緊著。好
To Howard. To Howard.
敬霍華德，敬霍華德
I totally had sex in the ocean.
我在海里打了一炮
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