Chapter 29
第二十九章
I kept silence for a little while, thinking of what Stroeve had told me. I could not stomach his weakness, and he saw my disapproval. "You know as well as I do how Strickland lived," he said tremulously. "I couldn't let her live in those circumstances—I simply couldn't."
我沉默了一會,思索著施特略夫?qū)ξ抑v的事情。我無法忍受他這種懦弱,他也看出來我對他這個做法不以為然?!澳愀抑赖靡粯忧宄?,思特里克蘭德過的是什么日子,”他聲音顫抖著說,“我不能讓她在那種環(huán)境里過活——我就是不能。”
That's your business, I answered.
“這是你的事。”我回答。
What would you have done? he asked.
“如果這事叫你遇上,你會怎么做?”他問。
She went with her eyes open. If she had to put up with certain inconveniences it was her own lookout.
“她是睜著眼睛自己走開的。如果她不得不吃些苦頭,也是自找?!?/p>
Yes; but, you see, you don't love her.
“你說得對,但是,你知道,你并不愛她。”
Do you love her still?
“你現(xiàn)在還愛她嗎?”
Oh, more than ever. Strickland isn't the man to make a woman happy. It can't last. I want her to know that I shall never fail her.
“??!比以前更愛。思特里克蘭德不是一個能使女人幸福的人。這件事長不了。我要讓她知道,我是永遠不會叫她的指望落空的?!?/p>
Does that mean that you're prepared to take her back?
“你的意思是不是說,你還準備收留她呢?”
I shouldn't hesitate. Why, she'll want me more than ever then. When she's alone and humiliated and broken it would be dreadful if she had nowhere to go.
“我將絲毫也不躊躇。到那時候她就會比過去任何時候都更需要我了。當她被人拋棄,受盡屈辱,身心交瘁,如果她無處可以投奔,那就太可怕了?!?/p>
He seemed to bear no resentment. I suppose it was commonplace in me that I felt slightly outraged at his lack of spirit. Perhaps he guessed what was in my mind, for he said:
施特略夫似乎一點也不生她的氣。也許我這人太平凡了,所以對他這種沒有骨氣竟有一些惱火。他可能猜到我的想法了,因為他這么說:
I couldn't expect her to love me as I loved her. I'm a buffoon. I'm not the sort of man that women love. I've always known that. I can't blame her if she's fallen in love with Strickland.
“我不能希望她象我愛她那樣愛我。我是滑稽角色。我不是那種叫女人鐘情的男子漢。這一點我早就知道。如果她愛上了思特里克蘭德,我不能責怪她?!?/p>
You certainly have less vanity than any man I've ever known, I said.
“我還從來沒見到過有誰象你這樣沒有自尊心的呢,”我說。