The One With the Sonogram at the End
[Scene Central Perk, everyone's there.]
Monica: What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Joey: Yeah, right!.......Y'serious?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Monica: Absolutely.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake.
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
Opening Credits
[Scene: Museum of Prehistoric History, Ross and a co-worker (Marsha) are setting up an exhibit which includes some mannequins of cave people.]
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Marsha: Well, she has issues.
Ross: Does she.
Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Marsha: Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife?
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
Ross: (trying to ignore her) No. No.
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
(Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.)
Ross:Hi.
Carol: So.
Ross: You look great. I, uh... I hate that.
Carol: Sorry. You look good too.
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Carol: A lesbian?
Ross: Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family?
Carol: Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Carol: I'm pregnant.
Ross: Pregnant?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are watching Three's Company.]
Chandler: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding.
Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
Monica: (taking a drink from Joey) Are you through with that?
Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
(Monica starts to fluff a pillow.)
Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!
Monica: Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have.
Chandler: Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow.
Phoebe: Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way.
Joey: Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
Monica: What?
Chandler: Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!
All: Eeaagh!
(Rachel enters from her room.)
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
Phoebe: Yeah, it's beautiful.
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God.... (Starts to look under the couch cushions.)
Phoebe: No, look, don't touch that!
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Joey: Alright, when'd'ya have it on last?
Phoebe: Doy! Probably right before she lost it!
Chandler: You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days...
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Chandler: ...Dinah?
Rachel: (looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don't be mad...
Monica: You didn't.
Rachel: Oh, I am sorry...
Monica: I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
Rachel: Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
Monica: (puts down the lasagne) I just... can't do it.
Chandler: Boys? We're going in.
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Ross: (standing outside the door).....Hi.
Monica: Wow. That is not a happy hi.
Ross: Carol's pregnant.
Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!
Monica: W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-...
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
Rachel: Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Phoebe: She is so great! I miss her.
Monica: What does she mean by 'involved'?
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.)
Joey: .....Well, this is still ruined, right?
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Monica: Curry.
Mrs. Geller: Mmmm!
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
Ross: Aw, Mom...
Monica: I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Monica: No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Mrs. Geller: Well, they don't have to know that... (She starts to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.)
Monica: Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's.... easy.
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
[Time Lapse, everyone is now eating.]
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...
Monica: What's that supposed to mean?
Mrs. Geller: Nothing! It's an expression.
Monica: No it's not.
Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
[Time Lapse.]
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
[Time Lapse.]
Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
(Stunned silence ensues.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Commercial Break
[Scene: Central Park, everyone's there.]
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Ross: Must pee. (Goes to pee.)
Phoebe: Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.
Rachel: You're twins?
Phoebe: Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type.
Chandler: What does she do?
Phoebe: She's a waitress.
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
Monica: Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this.
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred.
Rachel: The lights, please..
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Rachel: I'm just cleaning up.
Ross: D'ya.. uh.. d'ya need any help?
Rachel: Uh.. okay, sure! Thanks! (She hands him the broom and sits down.)
Ross: Anyway.. um.. (Starts to sweep.) So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow?
Rachel: Oh.. a little..
Ross: Mm-hmm..
Rachel: A lot.
Ross: Mm.
Rachel: So, got any advice? Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
Ross: Got me.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Ross: Yes, yes!
Rachel: Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here.. (She leans back onto his hand.)
Ross: Me either... (He pulls up a stool so that he doesn't have to move his hand.)
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Ross: (entering) Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway.
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Susan: Hi.
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Ross: How could I forget?
Susan: Ross.
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Susan: She.
Ross: -she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation?
Carol: Yes, and she's very supportive.
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Carol: Thanks.
Ross: (picks up a surgical instrament and mimes a duck with it) Quack, quack..
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
[Scene Barry's office, Barry is working on patient, Robbie, as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Barry?
Barry: C'mon in.
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Barry: Yeah! It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours.
Robbie: Huh?!
Barry: So, how ya doin?
Rachel: I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!
Barry: Yeah, well..
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein's gagging.
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel) Be back in a sec.
(As Barry exits Robbie stares at Rachel.)
Rachel: I dumped him.
Robbie: Okay.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
Ross: So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
Carol: Give me a 'for instance'.
Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?
Carol: Marlon-
Ross: Marlon?!
Carol: -if it's a boy, Minnie if it's a girl.
Ross: ...As in Mouse?
Carol: As in my grandmother.
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia?
Carol: Julia..
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Ross: 'S'funny, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia's on the table..?
[Scene: Barry's office, Rachel is doing her makeup in the mirror on Barry's lamp as Barry enters.]
Barry: Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to?
Rachel: Oh, not much. I-I got a job.
Barry: Oh, that's great.
Rachel: Why are- why are you so tanned?
Barry: Oh, I, uh- I went to Aruba.
Rachel: Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone?
Barry: No. I went with, uh.. Now, this may hurt.
Robbie: Me?!
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Rachel: Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!
Barry: Yeah, well, uh, we're kind of a thing now.
Rachel: Oh! Well, um.. (Grabs his forehand) You've got plugs!
Barry: Careful! They haven't quite taken yet.
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Barry: Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
Rachel: Okay..
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
Rachel: Wow.
Barry: You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Mindy, now I'm happy. Spit.
Rachel: What?
Robbie: Me. (Spits.)
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
Barry: Well, thank you for giving it back.
(Barry and Rachel look at each other.)
Robbie: Hello?!
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Ross: Thank you!
Carol: No, I mean it's not Geller.
Ross: What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?
Carol: No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Susan: It's my baby too.
Ross: Oh, 's'funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm.
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too.
Carol: Ross. You're not actually suggesting Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller? 'Cause I think that borders on child abuse.
Ross: Of course not, I'm... suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
All: Yeah. Yeah. A little.
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
Ross: You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now.
(He turns to go, but the sound of the sonogram catches hes ear. He returns and stares at it.)
Ross: Oh my God.
Susan: Look at that.
Carol: I know.
Closing Credits
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, everyone is watching the tape of the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Ross: Well? Isn't that amazing?
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Ross: Then don't do that, alright?
Phoebe: Okay!
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?
Monica: (welling up) Mm-hmm.
Ross: Wh- are you welling up?
Monica: No.
Ross: You are, you're welling up.
Monica: Am not!
Ross: You're gonna be an aunt.
Monica: (pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
End
你們男生不懂親吻對(duì)女生的重要性
沒(méi)錯(cuò),當(dāng)真?
當(dāng)真.
你想了解的一切全在初吻之中
沒(méi)錯(cuò)
對(duì)我們而言親吻就像是開(kāi)場(chǎng),就像佛洛伊飛船出場(chǎng)前,你得耐著性子先看完脫口秀
對(duì),我們并非討厭脫口秀,但那不是我們買(mǎi)票的原因
問(wèn)題出在于演唱會(huì)結(jié)束后,不論表演有多精采,你們女生總還想再看脫口秀,我們?cè)谲嚿蠆^力殺出車陣,只是拼命讓自己別睡著
是哦?給你一個(gè)建議。叫脫口秀主持人再度上場(chǎng),否則下次,你們只能坐家里聽(tīng)唱片
我們還在談?wù)撔詥?
不,這樣很好,只是她看起來(lái)是不是有點(diǎn)生氣嗎?
她有麻煩事.
她有嗎?
他在外頭亂搞女人,而她卻待家里,設(shè)法去除地毯上乳齒象的味道
瑪莎,他們是穴居人,他們關(guān)心的問(wèn)題是冰河愈來(lái)愈接近了,懂嗎?
談到問(wèn)題,那不是你前妻嗎?
我的?不是
是的,她是.嘿,你好
是的,我到冰河期找你
編劇:馬卡克夫曼大衛(wèi)克恩
你的氣色好極了,我討厭看到這樣
抱歉,謝了
你的氣色也很好,在這兒任何直立的人…,最近如何?還是…女同志?
問(wèn)問(wèn)無(wú)妨嘛,家庭生活如何?
瑪?shù)俚囊尚牟∵€是很重
卡蘿,為何來(lái)這兒?
我懷孕了
她似乎不急著離開(kāi),人和人,讓人討厭的就是有誤會(huì),他們之間有誤會(huì)
我看過(guò)這一集
喝完沒(méi)?
抱歉,吞下去的時(shí)間太慢
這是誰(shuí)的小紙團(tuán)?
我的,我寫(xiě)給自己一張便條,后來(lái)覺(jué)得自己不需要,于是將它揉成紙團(tuán),我不想活了
她已經(jīng)拍松過(guò)那個(gè)枕頭,摩妮卡,你已經(jīng)拍過(guò)了枕頭了?
抱歉,各位,我只是不想,讓他們有藉題發(fā)揮的機(jī)會(huì)
沒(méi)錯(cuò),我們都知道,父母對(duì)孩子的枕頭要求有多苛刻。
摩妮卡…,你嚇到我了,你慌慌張張的,而且顯得不是很好
冷靜,你沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)每次他們來(lái)時(shí),羅斯有慌張的樣子
因?yàn)樵谖野謰屝哪恐校_斯不可能犯錯(cuò),他是個(gè)王子,顯然,他們?cè)谖页錾坝袀€(gè)大型儀式。 什么?
丑陋裸男有個(gè)”美腿器”
有人看見(jiàn)我的訂婚戒指嗎?
有,很漂亮。糟了•,.
嘿,不要?jiǎng)铀鼈?/p>
明天就要還他戒指,我似乎還不夠擔(dān)心。巴瑞,記得我嗎?,我是那個(gè)穿白紗,讓你在親友面前出糗的人,天啊,如今我必須還他戒指,戒指不見(jiàn)了,叫我如何面對(duì)他?
別急,我們會(huì)找到的,對(duì)不?
是呀,我們會(huì)的.
最后一次戴是在什么時(shí)候?
”孩仔”,大概是在遺失之前
這年頭說(shuō)”孩仔”的人不多
我今天早上還戴它,我在廚房戴著做…
面條?
別生氣
對(duì)不起
我就讓你做了這么一件事情
你看面條現(xiàn)在變得多直
摩妮卡,在千層面中找訂婚戒指不是那樣找
我辦不到
我們很高興做.
語(yǔ)氣并不開(kāi)心
卡蘿懷孕了
我找到了
什,什,什么?
你再持續(xù)兩小時(shí),就會(huì)變成我這樣
如此一來(lái),枕頭的事就可先攔在一旁?
你現(xiàn)在要怎么辦?
卡蘿說(shuō)她和蘇珊想讓我加入,但是對(duì)這件事我不太感到舒服,我不想卷進(jìn)去.一切由我做決定
她人好好,我真想念她
她所謂的”加入”代表什么?
我猜,你大部分的工作已經(jīng)結(jié)束了
總之,她們要我和她們?nèi)プ龀舨z查
你打算怎么做?
我也不知道,不管我怎么做我還是孩子的爹
面已經(jīng)被攪亂了,不是嗎?
瑪莎路金的女兒會(huì)打電話給你
怎么會(huì)有咖哩味?
因?yàn)橛蟹趴Я?/p>
這東西很好吃,真的
你還記得路金一家人?他們的大女兒喜歡你,對(duì)不?
他們家的女兒都喜歡他
不要這樣,媽媽
抱歉,她為何要打電話給我?
她剛畢業(yè),想找份烹飪的工作吧,我告訴她你開(kāi)了一家餐館
不,媽,我沒(méi)開(kāi)餐館,我在餐廳工作
他們不需要知道
羅斯,能幫我做義大利面嗎?
我們吃義大利面呀?太簡(jiǎn)單了
我知道這樣要求過(guò)于自私,你能不能和他們說(shuō)一下小孩/女同性戀之類的事?因?yàn)檫@樣可以讓我喘口氣
瑞秋到底怎么了?,我們?cè)诰銟?lè)部遇見(jiàn)她父母,他們很不開(kāi)心
我不想講他們?yōu)榇嘶槎Y花了些什么,但是4萬(wàn)塊不是個(gè)小數(shù)目?
至少她有機(jī)會(huì)把一個(gè)男人留在教堂里的圣壇
什么意思?
沒(méi)什么,隨便說(shuō)說(shuō)
不,不是的,別聽(tīng)你媽亂講話,你一直都很獨(dú)立,就連你小時(shí)候,胖嘟嘟的一個(gè)朋友也沒(méi)有,你還是活得好好的,你會(huì)待在你房里看書(shū)玩拼圖
而像羅斯這種人則追求卓越,博物館,發(fā)表論文…,其他人則安于現(xiàn)狀告訴你,這種人不會(huì)得癌癥
我還知道,這些女人想擁有一切,幸好我們家的小摩妮卡似乎沒(méi)有這種問(wèn)題
羅斯,你呢?最近有什么新聞八卦之類可以和老爸老媽分享的
好吧,我知道你們想了解我和卡蘿之間倒底怎么了,事情是這樣的,卡蘿是個(gè)女同志,她和一個(gè)名字蘇珊的女人同居,她懷了我的孩子,并打算和蘇珊共同撫養(yǎng)他
這些你全都知道?
你的狀況真的很糟糕嗎?
你要知道這些人十分專業(yè),他們會(huì)躲在那里
再來(lái)個(gè)突然襲擊
常言道:父母是無(wú)法交換的,如果可以,我要你的父母
我要去尿尿了
如果你是雙胞胎,情況會(huì)更慘
你是雙胞胎?
對(duì),我們不往來(lái)。她是一心追求事業(yè)的人
她從事什么工作?
服務(wù)生
各位,我得打掃了
錢(qián)德,你是獨(dú)子?你沒(méi)有這些困擾?
沒(méi)有。盡管我有個(gè)想像中的朋友,而我爸媽比較喜歡他
幫我關(guān)燈
我在里面多久了?
只是我要打掃了
需要幫忙嗎?
好呀,謝了
明天要見(jiàn)巴瑞,緊張嗎?
有一點(diǎn)
很緊張
有任何建言嗎?就一個(gè)最近剛被甩的人而言,你應(yīng)該避免用”甩”這個(gè)字眼,現(xiàn)在他可能痛不欲生,因此你不該顯得艷光照人.我知道這一點(diǎn)很難做到.這樣吧,我拿戒指還巴瑞,你陪卡蘿及蘇珊去做檢查
你明天得見(jiàn)卡蘿,此事何時(shí)變得這么復(fù)雜?
你可問(wèn)倒我了
還記得我們?cè)诟咧袝r(shí)代嗎? 記得
你沒(méi)想過(guò)自己會(huì)遇見(jiàn)心上人,談戀愛(ài),然后廝守終生嗎?羅斯? 什么事?
沒(méi)想到自己會(huì)淪落到這個(gè)地步
我也是
抱歉,我遲到了,我忙得無(wú)法脫身恐龍之類的事
羅斯,記得蘇珊?jiǎn)?
我怎能忘得了?
羅斯
蘇珊,你好,她的手好有力,那么我們?cè)诘?hellip;
歐伯曼大夫
歐伯曼大夫他•,
她
她了解我們的特殊狀況?
了解,而且她非常支持
這太好了,不,我只是.
謝了
羅斯,
那是用來(lái)打開(kāi)我的子宮頸的
巴瑞
進(jìn)來(lái)
沒(méi)問(wèn)題?
沒(méi)問(wèn)題,羅此得待在這兒好幾個(gè)小時(shí)
最近好嗎?
你的氣色好極了
法大夫,杰森快沒(méi)氣了
馬上到
我馬上回來(lái)
我甩了他
哦.
我們?cè)撊绾翁幚泶耸?比方說(shuō)某些重大的決定
比如?
比方說(shuō)孩子的名字
馬龍
如果是個(gè)男孩馬龍,如果是個(gè)女孩就叫米妮
和米奇的女友同名?
和我奶奶同名
不管怎樣,聽(tīng)到這個(gè)還是想到老鼠.朱莉亞如何?
朱莉亞?
我們決定用米妮
真幽默我們?cè)鴽Q定共同生活一輩子,世事難料,兵來(lái)將擋.茱莉亞,就這么決定
抱歉,近來(lái)可好?
混得過(guò)去,我剛找到工作
這太好了
你為何曬得這么黑?
我到阿魯巴了
你自己一個(gè)去渡蜜月?
不是,我和… 你也許會(huì)很不好受
我?
不.我和明蒂去了
我的伴娘明蒂?
對(duì),我們是認(rèn)真的
你去做植發(fā)了?
小心,還不固定
你何時(shí)配隱形眼鏡的?你不是討厭將手指放進(jìn)眼睛嗎?
還不是為了她. 我真的得感謝你
一個(gè)月前我想傷害你,我從未如此激動(dòng)過(guò),我是個(gè)整牙醫(yī)師
你說(shuō)得沒(méi)錯(cuò),我以為我們會(huì)過(guò)得很快樂(lè),我們不快樂(lè).但是和明蒂在一起,現(xiàn)在我很快樂(lè).吐掉
什么?
是和我說(shuō)
總之,這東西屬于你的.謝謝你送我
謝謝你送還給我
拜托,海倫有什么不好?
海倫蓋勒?不行
她不會(huì)叫海倫蓋勒的
不,我是說(shuō)她不姓蓋勒
難道她叫海倫威利克
老實(shí)說(shuō),我們考慮用海倫威利克班奇
等等,為何有她的份?
因?yàn)樗彩俏业膶殞?/p>
是嗎?我不記得女人也會(huì)制造精子
我們都知道那是個(gè)極大的挑戰(zhàn)
夠了,你們兩個(gè),別吵了
不,功勞全讓她搶了.我也在場(chǎng)
羅斯,你該不會(huì)想用海倫威利克班奇蓋勒吧?因?yàn)檫@有虐待兒童之嫌
當(dāng)然沒(méi)有,我想用蓋勒威利克班奇
絕對(duì)不行,你看他,沒(méi)人會(huì)叫她全名的.他知道別人只會(huì)叫她蓋勒,這樣他就得逞了
我得逞?你認(rèn)為這樣算我得逞?相信我,我沒(méi)想到自己會(huì)淪落到這種地步,我是不得已的…
有人在嗎?今天如何,想嘔吐嗎?
只是一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)
我只是問(wèn)準(zhǔn)媽媽,很感謝你們的分享.躺好
知道嗎?我不加入,我認(rèn)為此時(shí)自己無(wú)法淌人這渾水
我的天呀
看啊
我知道
很神奇吧
我們?cè)摽吹绞裁?
我不知道,可能是攻擊企業(yè)號(hào)(星艦迷航記)
如果你們把頭稍微向左偏,兩眼放輕松,它樣子就像是一個(gè)顆老馬鈴薯
那么就不要那么干
摩妮卡,你認(rèn)為呢?
你熱淚盈眶?
才沒(méi)那
我只是…
你有,你熱淚盈眶
你就要成為阿姨了
閉嘴
明蒂,我是瑞秋.我很好,我今天和巴瑞見(jiàn)面了.不,他告訴我了,沒(méi)關(guān)系,真的.對(duì),他告訴我了,我誠(chéng)心祝福你們幸福快樂(lè).如果一切順利,你們結(jié)婚生子,希望他們有他的發(fā)線和你的鼻子.
我知道這招很賤,但我感覺(jué)好棒